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Live chats: our funniest (read weirdest) chats!

Posted by Yomdelier - 16 August, 2018

Recent innovations in technology have allowed businesses to connect with their customers wherever they are in the world, at any time of day. Live chat, is the perfect example, enabling companies to have proper conversations 24/7. But that doesn't mean that all of those conversations necessarily make sense...

Here at Yomdel, we handle more than 70,000 chats every single month for thousands of businesses — from the world's leading banks all the way to Christian online dating...you name it, we probably do it! 

Because every single one of our chats is handled by a real-life human, we often find people having a little joke (or at least, we hope they're joking!), or putting our operators to the test. In recent times, the UK public seems to have turned to our live chat service in search of a sympathetic ear on everything from Trump and Heinz sponge pudding  to rogue geese.

Here's what one of our operators, Katie, has to say about it: 

We get all sorts coming through on chat, particularly in the small hours when people take to the keyboard after a few drinks and strangely decide to head to a company’s website for a chat!

It’s amazing how so many people think they’re talking to a bot, before realising it’s actually a real person on the other end. This is probably why we get so many odd conversations because people try and catch the bot out and then have no choice but to carry on the joke once they work out we're real people! We don't mind - it brightens up our day!"

Here are a few of our favourites (for data protection, we've had to remove the name of the company):

Rogue tenant geese1. Attack of the rogue tenant geese
Ian: Hi, welcome to xxxx. Are you looking to get in touch with your local branch? Perhaps I can help here on chat?

Visitor: Yeah hi, just wondering if there's any news on the geese?

IanThanks for coming on chat. Let me see what I can do for you...
I'm sorry, I don't quite understand your question. Would you mind giving me a little more information please? 

VisitorThe geese in my flat? Sorry, perhaps you're new. I should explain. It all started on a cold January morning, some seven nights ago. I returned home from a long day ploughing the mill, and there was a goose in my bathroom. Now, this sort of thing is happening all the time in my flat, so I didn't pay it much mind. Especially since the horse.

Ian: Oh no, not the horse! It's probably best if I put you in touch with one of my colleagues who’ll be able to discuss the geese with you. Would that be ok?

VisitorHold on, I haven't finished

Ian: Oh sorry. Sure

Visitor: The next night I came home from another long day weaving the corn, and it was still there.

Ian: ok

Visitor: Normally this sort of thing just clears itself up on its own.
Then the next day, there were TWO geese.
I assumed there had just been a mistake at the factory or something.
But then, the following day there were three, sat on my sofa watching the television. They insist they're bona fide tenants. I wouldn't mind, but I haven't seen them contribute to the rent. 

Ian: Oh

Visitor: Anyway, two days ago, when I arrived home there were five geese, all gaggling away.
Yesterday, eight.  And now I've got thirteen of the blighters strutting round the flat.  Was just wondering if you knew anything about it? Sounds like there's been no update

Ian: No I didn't know anything about this, it sounds really horrible.
The best I can do is to pass on your message and one of my colleagues will get back to you and help you.
Would that be ok?

Visitor: Yes, that would be fantastic. By my reckoning, by tomorrow there will be 21 geese.
I keep telling them that the tenancy agreement says "no pets", but they seem to think it just... doesn't apply to them? 

Ian: One moment please
 
Visitor: Oh hang on, one of the geese says he wants to speak to you, just quickly
is that ok?

Ian: No problem, sure.  

He's saying "HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK HONK"

Ian closed the chat 


chocolate pudding

2. The quest for Heinz sponge puddings

Irwin: Hi, welcome to xxxxx! If you’re thinking of selling or letting out a property I can offer a free valuation. Shall we chat?

Visitor: Hi Irwin, I’m having some difficulty and my life is spiralling in a direction my psychiatrist tells me is unhealthy. Can you aid me in my quest to bring Heinz sponge puddings back to the shelves?

Irwin: Thanks for coming on chat. Let me see what I can do for you.
That’s a difficult question! I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to help you with this sticky problem. Do you have any property queries I could help you with?

Visitor: No problem Irwin I understand. You’re probably suffering from the same pain as I. With your property expertise could you advise me on how I best stalk the owner/CEO of Heinz? Do you have their address?

Irwin: I don't recommend stalking – it probably won’t help you get Heinz sponge puddings back on the shelves. If anything, you’ll maybe end up in trouble and have no chance to bringing them back! If you don’t have any property queries, I will have to close this chat but good luck with your mission! Thanks for chatting with me today. Goodbye.

Irwin closed the chat.

What did you think of this live chat?

Visitor: This chat was as fulfilling as Heinz chocolate puddings once were.


crown3. The search for Excalibur

Arthur: Hi, welcome back to xxxxx. Do you have any questions about our services or products that I can help you with, here on chat?

Visitor: Hi Arthur

Arthur: Thanks for coming on chat. How can I help you?

Visitor: Are you the one they call King Arthur? from Camelot

Arthur: I wish but no, I’m a customer support agent. Can I help you?
Are we still connected? 

Visitor: My name is Merlin - I need to find Excalibur before it’s too late. 

Arthur: Ah Merlin it’s you – sorry trying to lay low right now. I'm going to close this chat, but you can re-open it if you need any help.

Arthur closed the chat.

If you would like to find out how our unfailingly polite human operators can support your business 24/7 — by generating high-quality qualified leads...or even just to keep the slightly strange customers happy (don't worry, we don't charge for those ones!), fill out the form at the bottom of the page, give us a call on 01403 616 000, or try out the live chat function on our site for yourself.

Topics: Live Chat, customer experience, human interaction